The 5 stages of Grief

The citizens of this country, or more specifically the Black “citizens” of this country are in a repetitive and perpetual cycle of the 5 stages of grief. All stemming from the moment our African ancestors were stolen from their home, to a foreign land. A foreign land that has nothing but traumatized and terrorized us from the beginning. “Us?” you ask. Yes, that includes you too, the African “American” sitting in front of the screen reading this post. Believe it or not it’s still going on, in the good ol’ country of “The Land of the Free, and the Home of the Brave”. Your very own United States of America.  This cyclical hell can repeat a stage as often and as many times as there are wounds being discovered and dug out, just to be patched improperly, unjustly if you will. Don’t believe me? Let me explain.

Stage One: Denial and Isolation

So here we are, having just been freed, given “rights” and finally counted as a human being, no longer property. Yay us, Right? They celebrate and I’m sure they thought to themselves “No longer are we in bondage, chains, this country cares about our struggle, our plight. Hey, we even fought in the war for this very country, surely they must accept us after that, right?” That’s what we keep telling ourselves. “Hey, we fight for this country, we work hard for this country, we help build this country, we are upstanding, law-abiding citizens! This country must see our worth now! No longer are we property, we get to be a human. I finally have the right to feelings. No longer am I viewed as the equivalent to the pig that they slaughter for sustenance , or currency to barter, I am a human." Fresh - faced children, wide-eyed and bushy tailed sent off to explore lands that does not belong to them, yet they build, despite an ounce of direction, just hope.

 Stage 2: Anger

Now that we have built something for ourselves, we can finally live the “American Dream”. The white picket fence, 2.5 children, great job, the works. But wait? What’s that off in the distance, there yonder? They have just hung our African “American” neighbor, a police officer has just shot down our African “American” neighbor’s son. What else is there? They have just bombed our entire African “American” city, where our great jobs and white picket fences and 2.5 children live. *Gasp* What else? They have just implemented laws that say we can’t eat, drink, play, work, live, love, and just be where ever we want. we thought we were “citizens”, African “Americans” of this country. We are angry! We must do something about this.” So the Civil Rights era was born, the NAACP, marches and speeches in Washington D.C. begins. So sweet and docile, we shout “We want rights” We turn to the very place where we are “citizens” of, The United States of America, our “government” that is used to uphold laws that promote the “Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave”.

Stage 3: Bargaining

 “ Hey! United States of America! Since you are the cause of our suffering, you surely can change it, right? Help us, we are dying, we can’t find jobs, a good place to live, we want our white picket fences back. We want to live that American Dream. Can you help us, please? We will try to fit in better, we will try to assimilate better, we promise! We will let you share our culture, entertain you, we will try our hardest to even look like you. Try not to start any trouble, we will be better law-abiding citizens! We have a few African “Americans” here that will help negotiate better rights for us, peacefully, just give us some, help us.” "Is that all you want" they say. "Let us see what we can do" So they “remove” those laws that were hindering us from becoming African “Americans”. You can now drink at the same fountain, eat at the same restaurant, work at the same jobs, live in the same areas” We emerge from a war of unequal artillery, gleam of hope in our eye, because now, "They have given us the right to vote, own property, look, this country is nice to us…sometimes.” We convince ourselves again that the greater good for one, is the greater good for all. So we go and isolate ourselves, try to build once again.

Stage 4: Depression

“We have gotten our rights, we are the same as any other citizen in the United States, the “Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave” we are African “Americans”, we are “citizens”. Rejoice, the time has come! But wait, we thought you had removed all of laws preventing us from being African “American citizens”. How come we still can’t get find good jobs, good schools, live in the same neighborhoods, why did our other African “American” friend just die by the hands of the cops? They get it, but we don't? But....... Well, where are the rights that you, the United States of America, the “Land of the Free and the Home of the Brave” have given to us. We thought you wanted to help us? We thought we were African “Americans” we thought we were “citizens” We even tried to be more like you! "Why are you doing this to us? I guess we weren’t African “Americans” at all, I guess we weren’t “citizens” at all….. You didn’t help us at all” Through a veil of illusion, they tell us that it is exactly what they've given to us. Though, we never asked them to uphold and abide by these in the face of justice. Clever, aren't they? We convinced ourselves that, that was apart of the packaged deal. The illusion of inclusion and our dilution has chipped and weathered away every letter in that word we love: HOPE.

Stage 5: Acceptance

So here we are, having just accepted that we are not African Americans, we are not citizens. They don’t care about our plight. If this is all that they will give to us, then we will have to accept what we have. It isn’t going to be better. We continue to entertain and give away us. We are empty shells, with Red, White, and Blue painted particularly and precisely over Black skin.

Stage ?: Change

Cracks begin to break the shell of injustice, transforming each pigment of red, blood that have been spilled by us from a country happy to use our help, but despises helping. White, of the societal norm, social constructs that have been placed on everyone with out this color biologically. Blue, the depressive state of our people. These colors just as weathered and worn as the word: HOPE.  However, Restoration is a word. Just depends on which and for what you use it for.